Lonely

I know that you're gonna hate me
For saying these words right now
But I don't have a choice
I just gotta let it out
Something has changed my mind
The fire within me has died
I'm a stranger to myself.

You're so sweet and lovely
But even so I let go
I don't know what is taking over me
Your loving arms reach out for me
But even so I let go
I don't know.

I'm sorry
Even though you're here, I feel lonely
I'm so selfish
I am not worthy of your heart
Watch me walk away
This is the ending of our love story.

When we are close, I still feel like we are world's apart
I can't stay because with you, I feel lonely.

You didn't create this problem
It was my fault
From the start, I knew this day will come
When you hold me I feel so out of place
I feel trapped, I wanna run away.

How come when I'm met by love it makes me weak and empty?
You are the only one for me
But even so, I let go.

Who? me?

Hahahaha~ helloooo guys =D Seems like Friday the 9th of September 2011 has changed my life. Everything was normal till I have been asked to become the next vice president for my Sirajuddin Sport-house xD

Few reasons why I think I am not suitable to be the next vice:

1) Didnt contribute any medals.

2) Only came for twice or thrice for house practice.

3) Always absent /on first aid duty for sports events.

I think this is my only chance to prove them that I am capable in handling such big responsibility. Thank you to the previous captain, Firdaus and the current captain, Heymen for putting your trust on me. I wont disappoint you guys. Go Sirajuddin!! Aza aza fighting ^^

Lies....

I dont mean an act of betrayal or back-stab. Recently, I feel hurt whenever I tell lies. Its like I can feel my heart kena stab. It hurts so badly that I made a promise to myself not to tell lies anymore =)  

U-KISS - Someday

The song isnt just nice to be listened but also means a lot to me. Its like giving me the strength to live on and forget the mistakes that I have done =)

Lyrics:

때론 hit 때론 miss 그런 거지 뭐
내일은 안 틀리면 돼 고작 실수일 뿐인데

때론 밑 때론 위 때론 Number 1
뭐 1등 해 봤자 내려갈 길밖에 없을 뿐인데

없으면 그냥 없는대로 사는 거지 뭐
가지기 전엔 몰랐던 욕심들일 뿐인데 oh

지금 너 힘들다는 건
곧 노력했단 증거일 뿐이야
Everybody knows you tried
Everybody knows it’s alright

You get some right, you get some wrong
조금 힘들어도 웃는 날이 올꺼야
When you fall down, when you get up
조금 힘들어도 웃는 날이 와
결국 웃는 날이 올꺼야

이별이라면 그냥 그녈 놓아 줘
거짓된 눈물 보여도 인연이 아니겠지 뭐

떠날 사람은 떠나가는 거지 뭐
그래 그 옆에 있어봤자 언젠간 그랬겠지 no

지금 너 힘들다는 건
곧 사랑했단 증거일 뿐이야
Everybody knows you tried
Everybody knows it’s alright

You get some right, you get some wrong
조금 힘들어도 웃는 날이 올꺼야
When you fall down, when you get up
조금 힘들어도 웃는 날이 와
결국 웃는 날이 올꺼야

The past is the past is the past
지난 기억은 이제 그만
It’s the past
오랜 시간동안 매일 아프기만 했던

The Past is the past is the past
너를 있게 한 날들인 걸

Everybody wins sometimes
Everybody knows you lose some

You get some right, you get some wrong
조금 힘들어도 웃는 날이 올꺼야
When you fall down, when you get up
조금 힘들어도 웃는 날이 와
결국 웃는 날이 와
결국 웃는 날이 올꺼야

Translation:

Sometimes hit, sometimes miss, it’s always like that
Just do it right tomorrow, it’s just a small mistake
Sometimes bottom, sometimes top, sometimes number 1
Getting 1st place, you can only go down
Without it, just live without it
It’s just greed you have before you win it oh
Your suffering now is a sign of your hard work
Everybody knows you tried
Everybody knows it’s alright

You get some right, you get some wrong
Although tiring there will be days to smile
When you fall down, when you get up
Although tiring, there will be days to smile, eventually a day to smile will come
If it’s separation, just let her go
She might show lying tears, maybe it wasn’t destiny
People who have to go, just go
Sure being next to them it might happen oh
Being tired right now
It’s just evidence of your love
Everybody knows you tried Everybody knows it’s alright
You get some right, you get some wrong
Although tiring there will be days to smile
When you fall down, when you get up
Although tiring, there will be days to smile, eventually a day to smile will come
The past is the past is the past
Previous memories
It’s the past
The long painful days
The Past is the past is the past
The days to forget you~
Everybody wins sometimes
Everybody knows you lose some
You get some right, you get some wrong
Although tiring there will be days to smile
When you fall down, when you get up
Although tiring there will be days to smile,
Eventually a day to smile will come
Eventually a day to smile will come

Laughing is bad? Too bad you cant laugh like I do =p

Hellooooo!! =D

Its like this. This thing actually has been playing on my mind for quite a long time. I wonder, is it wrong for me to laugh? I mean is it even a crime to laugh? =,= FYI, I'm a type of person who loves to laugh and I'm easily entertained. I CANT HELP IT!! Even when I feel down and try to be serious, there's a part in me that will make me go giggles =S *too much laugh receptors i guess*

Let me get this straight to the point. I laugh because I think its funny. If you don't wanna laugh because you think its silly, that means it is your problem. Blame your sense of humor dude!! Don't come and tell me its not funny =,=

-Laughter is an audible expression or appearance of excitement, an inward feeling of joy. It may ensue from jokes, tickling, and other stimuli. Researchers have shown infants as early as 17 days old have vocal laughing sounds or laughter. It conflicts with earlier studies indicating that infants usually start to laugh at about four months of age. Laughter researcher Robert Provine said: "Laughter is a mechanism everyone has; laughter is part of universal human vocabulary. There are thousands of languages, hundreds of thousands of dialects, but everyone speaks laughter in pretty much the same way.” Babies have the ability to laugh before they ever speak. Children who are born blind and deaf still retain the ability to laugh.

Provine argues that “Laughter is primitive, an unconscious vocalization.” Provine argues that it probably is genetic. In a study of the “Giggle Twins”, two happy twins who were separated at birth and only reunited 43 years later, Provine reports that “until they met each other, neither of these exceptionally happy ladies had known anyone who laughed as much as she did.” They reported this even though they both had been brought together by their adoptive parents, who they indicated were “undemonstrative and dour.” He indicates that the twins “inherited some aspects of their laugh sound and pattern, readiness to laugh, and maybe even taste in humor.”

Norman Cousins developed a recovery program incorporating megadoses of Vitamin C, along with a positive attitude, love, faith, hope, and laughter induced by Marx Brothers films. "I made the joyous discovery that ten minutes of genuine belly laughter had an anesthetic effect and would give me at least two hours of pain-free sleep," he reported. "When the pain-killing effect of the laughter wore off, we would switch on the motion picture projector again and not infrequently, it would lead to another pain-free interval."

Scientists have noted the similarity in forms of laughter induced by tickling among various primates, which suggests that laughter derives from a common origin among primate species.

A very rare neurological condition has been observed whereby the sufferer is unable to laugh out loud, a condition known as aphonogelia.^{- Wikipedia}

I'm laughing shows that I'm in a pink of health =D

Hyuna- A Bitter Day ( featuring Junhyung and G-NA )

A Bitter Day 다 이렇게 지워가겠지
언제가는 잊혀지겠지
나 그제서야 웃겠지만 지금은 나도 어쩔수가 없네

날씨가 좋아도 기분은 전혀 좋지 않아
날 놀리는 것 같아 괜히 막 화가 견디기 힘든 상황에
빠져서 허우적대네
나와 정 반대 세상은 아무렇지도 않게 잘 돌아가잖아
너 또한 잘 살아가더라고 It’s not fair 이건 불공평해
지나가는 사람들 시선조차 내게 동정이 돼
되는 일이 하나 없어 오늘 아침에 내려야 할 곳을 놓쳐서
문득 니 생각에 뒤늦게 내린 인적드문 정거장에
오늘따라 쓸쓸해보여서 그냥 눈물이 났어 그렇게 한참을 걸었어
밉기만 했던 니가 새삼스리 그리웠어
널 붙잡을 힘도없이 약해빠졌었던 지난 날을 너무 한심해서

A Bitter Day 다 이렇게 지워가겠지
언제가는 잊혀지겠지
나 그제서야 웃겠지만 지금은 나도 어쩔수가 없네
아무것도 할수가 없어 지금 또 니 생각이 나서
참 슬프지만 정말 힘이 들겠지만 계속 지워볼게

변명처럼 들리겠지 무슨 말을 해도 이 모든게
다 널 위한거라 말을 해도 넌 내겐 너무나도
과분해서 어울리지 않는 옷을 걸친듯 불편해서
아름답지만 나도 니가 내 옆에서 시들어가는데
그걸 지켜보는 내 기분 어떻겠어 아예 시작을 하지말걸
처음 그때 니 눈을 보지 말걸
널 놓아주고나면 홀가분해질거라 생각했는데 그게 아니더라
또 이별은 머리는 아는데 마음이 부정을 못하더라고
매일 널 그리고 지우기를 반복해 아픈건 내가 다 할게
넌 그저 행복했음 좋겠어 지금의 선택
헛되지않길 후회하지 않길 널 위해 항상 기도할게

A Bitter Day 다 이렇게 지워가겠지
언제가는 잊혀지겠지
나 그제서야 웃겠지만 지금은 나도 어쩔수가 없네
아무것도 할수가 없어 지금 또 니 생각이 나서
참 슬프지만 정말 힘이 들겠지만 계속 지워볼게

조금씩 잊혀질거야 시간이 지나가면 웃으며 추억할 수 있겠지
시간이 약이란 흔한 말 말고 더 확실한 방법을 내게 말을 해줘
내게 받던 것 보다 더 큰 사랑 받을 수 있어 넌 여전히 아름다워
영원할거라 했잖아 결국 우리도 남들과 똑같아

A Bitter Day 다 이렇게 지워가겠지
언제가는 잊혀지겠지
그 날이 오겠지

Translation:

A bitter day, everything will erase this way
Someday it will all be forgotten
I will probably smile when the time comes, but for now I can’t do anything about it

Even though the weather is nice, I don’t feel good at all
Feels like it’s making fun of me, I start to get angry
Drowning in a difficult situation, I start to thrash
But the world is the exact opposite, it spins perfectly fine as if nothing is wrong
And you are also living well, It’s not fair, this is really not fair
Even the stares from the people passing by shows sympathy for me
Nothing is working out for me and because I missed the stop I was supposed to be off
I am suddenly reminded by the thoughts of you
The beaten up bus stop I got off looked even lonelier today so the tears just started to fall down
And like that I kept on walking for a long time
I started to miss you, who I used to just hate
Because I was so pathetic in my past days when I didn’t even have the strength to hold on to you

A bitter day, everything will erase this way
Someday it will all be forgotten
I will probably smile when the time comes, but for now I can’t do anything about it
I can’t do anything about it
Even though I’m really sad that I was reminded of you again,
It will really be hard for me, but I will keep trying to erase

No matter what I say, it will all sound like an excuse to you
Even when I tell you that all of these words are for you
You were really too much for me, I almost felt uncomfortable like wearing the clothes that didn’t match me
You were beautiful, but watching you wither away next to me, how do you think that would make me feel?
I shouldn’t have started at all, I shouldn’t have looked into your eyes the first time I met you
I thought that I would feel weightless if I let you go, but that wasn’t it
My mind understood the farewell, but my heart wouldn’t give in
Every day I would repeat drawing you and erasing you
I would handle all the suffering, I just wish that you would be happy
So that I this decision I made would not be worthlessness or bring any regrets
I will always pray for you

A bitter day, everything will erase this way
Someday it will all be forgotten
I will probably smile when the time comes, but for now I can’t do anything about it
I can’t do anything about it
Even though I’m really sad that I was reminded of you again,
It will really be hard for me, but I will keep trying to erase

I will erase you little by little, when time passes I will be able to remember you with a smile
Instead of the cliché phrase saying that time is the cure, please tell me a more definite way
You will be able to receive even a better love compared to the one you received from me, you are still beautiful
You said we were going to remain forever, in the end we are the same as the others

A bitter day, everything will erase this way
Someday it will all be forgotten
That day will come

Fahrenheit- 心疼妳的心疼/Cherish Your Heartache

總是在夜深人靜想一個人
妳留給我的回憶 映著月光更深刻
如果說後悔可以殺一個人
我已經為妳死掉 多少次了呢

妳的淚痕 妳默默忍耐過的寒冷
我現在才懂得
心疼妳的心疼 想緊緊把妳抱著
去彌補從前所有不完整
讓我讓妳快樂 為妳的微笑負責
承諾過的未來還在等 等我們的愛重生
時間是一道不能反轉的門
那時的年少輕狂 如今想來多殘忍
只不過這個世上沒有一本 能夠教我們如何 相愛的手冊

妳的淚痕 妳默默忍耐過的寒冷
我現在才懂得
心疼妳的心疼 想緊緊把妳抱著
去彌補從前所有不完整
讓我讓妳快樂 為妳的微笑負責
承諾過的未來還在等 等我們的愛重生

再也不會讓妳受傷了
我已完全明白愛能教人心多疼
這次換我等 換我為妳犧牲
讓我守護著妳 跟我一起走過時間的河

心疼妳的心疼 想緊緊把妳抱著
去彌補從前所有不完整
讓我讓妳快樂 為妳的微笑負責
承諾過的未來還在等 等我們的愛重生


TRANSLATION

Always thinking about someone at late at night
The memories you gave me, are even more memorable under moon light
If say regret can kill someone
Then I died for you, for how many times?

Your tears, the winter you tolerate in silence.
I finally understand now.
My heart aches your heartache, want to hug you tightly.To make up the incompleteness from the past.
Let me make you happy, be responsible for your smile.
The promised future is still waiting, waiting for the rebirth of our love.
Time is a door that cannot reverse
Days when we were young and crazy, now seem cruel when thinking about them.
It's just there isn't a booklet in this world that can teach us how to love each other

Your tears, the winter you tolerate in silence.
I finally understand now.
My heart aches your heartache, want to hug you tightly.To make up the incompleteness from the past.
Let me make you happy, be responsible for your smile.
The promised future is still waiting, waiting for the rebirth of our love.

Won't let you get hurt again
I already fully understand how love can ache one's heart
My term to wait this time, let me sacrifice for you this time
Let me protect you, walk over river of time together with me

My heart aches your heartache, want to hug you tightly.
To make up the incompleteness from the past.
Let me make you happy, be responsible for your smile.
The promised future is still waiting, waiting for the rebirth of our love

I AM WHAT I AM!!!

I am what I am
I am my own special creation
Come take a look
Give me the hook
Or the ovation
It's my world
That I want to have a little pride
My world
And it's not a place I have to hide in
Life's not worth a dam
Till I can say
I am what I am

I don't want praise, I don't want pity
I bang my own drum
Some think it's noise, I think it's pretty
And so what if I love each sparkle and each bangle
Why not see things from a different angle?
Your life is a shame
Till you can shout out I am what I am

What I am needs no excuses
I deal my own deck
Sometimes the aces, sometimes the deuces
It's one life and there's no return and no deposit
One life so it's time to open up your closet
Life's not worth a dam till you can shout out
I am what I am

Yes I am what I am...

Meet Thanya =)

Who is Thanya? How I met her? Hehe... Suprise, suprise. She is my foster sister from Phichai Rattanakhan School, Ranong, Thailand. Her name is Thanyarat. I call her Thanya (Tania) or sometimes 'Pu' (She wants me to call her by that name since her family call her by that name) =p

She arrived here in Penang on Saturday (23rd of July)at 2pm. Me and my brother, together with my sister decided to take her to Gurney Plaza since it was already late in the afternoon and my parents were in KL. I met Kristie (already planned xD), and Esmond with his friend. Brought her around (walked to cinema, toys r us and MPH bookstore). Then we had our lunch+dinner at Kenny Rogers.

On the next day, well... my parents returned from KL and so I introduced her to my parents. At 8am in the morning, took her to Penang Hills but too bad the view was not so nice as it was hazy. Then, mum took her to BJ shopping complex and guess what? Mum bought her a 'baju kurung' for a dinner at Gurney Hotel :)

                                                                          Not bad =p



The next day was a school day (25th July). The FREES were attracted to her xD I gotta admit that she is cute :) Lucky to get her as my foster sister xD She easily suit herself  here and that was good. I felt happy to see her smile with her friends  (I just cant start a convo with her at home T..T)  That was almost all. Another 4 days with the same routine.....

Places I took her to:-
1) Straitsquay- Had dinner at Delicious
2) Tokong Ular area- Eat char koay teow
3) Penang bridge. Took ferry to island from mainland
4) Special thanks to Jason Mot for binging her to Auto-City
5) Queensbay Mall- Had J. Co Donuts and brought her to souvenirs shop. Also the time she revealed her   talent in speaking Mandarin :p

School brought her to Botanical Gaden, KOMTAR and Penang hills, A-G-A-I-N =,= on 28th of July.

                                                                        Penang Hills :D

                                                         Gurney Hotel....yummm yummm......

                                                             MCDonalds on the last night


30th of July- The day when she left us..... sad sad :( Had a lot of fun with her. She is like my younger sister to me.... I was not in school during the time she left Penang as I was having First Aid Competition in HQ (managed to get 1st runner-up tho :D) Was quite down the whole day :/ Told her to keep in touch and to take care :'/

Ps: Miss you <3 Hope we'll meet again

"WELCOME" I supposed =p

Well, guess what folks? I just created my own blog xD I have wanted to create one since a long time ago when I saw my friends' blog (Win Sern, Kevin, Benjamin and Wee Liam). And today, 23rd of July 2011.... I made it!! Wooots =p That's it for now. Sorry if my page still kinda plain... tada~ *wave*